Gospel Revealed in the Midst of Wrath

One day, several years back, I just about ran outside to check the sky for fire falling from heaven. I had learned the recent statistics for the aborting of unborn children in America - over one million in just one year - and I was sure that our continued existence as a nation could not be long. 

What would happen to us for such a horrendous crime against our Maker? Would bombs drop and wipe us off the face of the earth? Would civil war break out and decimate our population? (For the crime of human trafficking and enslavement, this second had happened over one hundred years ago.) 

I knew that many righteous people also live here, and that like us, many prayed and received mercy, even amid the violence. God had been incredibly gracious to us. The days went on - the sun rose, the store had groceries, the hospital had medicine, the roads had cars, while schools taught that God did not exist to be worshiped, and mothers sacrificed their babies to the idol of Self. 

But the wrath of God is still being revealed from Heaven against the unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth plainly revealed to them in His creation. Romans chapter one teaches that this wrath is expressed, not so much in lightning bolts and earthquakes, as in God intentionally giving people over to a debased mind. 

While the machinery of prosperity continues to run somewhat smoothly in our land, it is also slowly being undermined by a growing number of people who hate humanity, wholeness, and prosperity and promote perversion, death, and destruction. The judgment is right here among us. This seemingly unbelievable preference among the population for choices that lead to a destruction of prosperity and a deification of decay is no coincidence. It is part of the judgment itself. A nation that is led by people bent on its destruction does not need fire from heaven to destroy it. It will breed its own decay, and illustrate once again to the world that God alone is life and light, and those who turn from him to their own devices will have their fill of them.

But this is sad. This is not a story from history, but the nation in which we live, the backyards where we've grown too many tomatoes and zucchini, the front yards where we've found yard sale bargains, the sidewalks where we've watched sunsets and chatted with neighbors, the stores where we've bought Christmas presents, and the churches where we've sung Easter hymns. We know as Christians that we belong to Heaven, but paying higher taxes, being despised, and watching crime creep into our neighborhoods is still hard. 

At this moment, we have to step back and see the stage on which we are set - the deepening blackness against which the gem of the gospel is beginning to shine again with its old brilliance. Right before the Romans 1:18 text about the wrath of God being revealed from heaven, is the Romans 1:16-17 text - "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is it the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes...". In case we were starting to think that the American dream was too desirable, and spreading the gospel of the kingdom was something for other people who were more into being radically spiritual, the growing darkness might cause us to remember why we are here. It's starting to do that for me.

When we see that the rising generation is growing increasingly fascinated with sexual perversion, political tyranny, and spiritual darknesss - we have something for that - it's the gospel. The news that God has been incarnated in the Son to work righteousness, pay for sin and conquer death on behalf of all who believe, is news that is ever fresh and powerful.

To say that the gospel is the only true solution to human sin and spiritual darkness does not mean we turn a cold heart to the nation's institutions, however corrupt they may be. For those who are serving in the government and politics, as faithful Christians seeking to staunch the ever-gaping wound - their work is an act of compassion, just as a doctor treats the gangrene brought on by a patient's own bad choices. Mercy is still flowing to God's people, and it should flow through us to those around us, including those in government. To speak truth, to love justice, to act wisely is an honor being taken away from many, but where we can do these things, we are ministers of mercy, even as we are increasingly hated for doing so. Jesus told us about that, too. 

So we are here, in this place, at this time, from Christ, through Christ, and unto Christ. That beautiful home, car, and garden in a safe, wholesome neighborhood is a blessing from Him, that He can also take away, but He has promised that no one can take us out of His hand. 

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always, to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:19-20

Thoughts on September Grief

Earthly nations decay, and there is no exception. It's much easier to read about it in history, than to be in the middle of it happening. Nations are made of people,  and sin and death, the instruments of decay, hurt people. I am one. When, like decadent and luxurious Rome, nations topple, the people in them are hit with sudden grief. And just like many Americans, the people now buried in dust thought at the time that Babylon or Rome or the Caliphate would always be the world's power. Our nation hasn't toppled yet, but the worms are eating it - and that's both grievous and okay.

He who said "My kingdom is not of this world" is our King. His servants are safe both here and hereafter in His service, but perhaps we've forgotten what that kind of safety is. It's a safety that transcends anything a government can provide. A just government should provide safety for its citizens because it is right, but if we put our trust in it, we are wrong. We want a safe and righteous country and should pray for one, but we don't need one in order to be the witnesses of the risen Christ. If He sees us not doing a great job of witnessing for Him in a safe context of dignity and respectability, He is free to give us a dangerous context of misrepresentation and scorn, in which we can discover that we are still safe in His omnipotent love.

If we haven't wanted badly enough for Jesus to return, we might start feeling uncomfortable enough to start praying for it more earnestly. We might start feeling unsafe enough to stop worrying about our perceived safety and serving with more abandon the One who is a shield about us in all places.

Conservatives being depicted as Klan members in Facebook post 9-14-2025

We could curl up in grief and demonize our opponents. They are blinded by their unwillingness to acknowledge Christ as Lord, and so they demonize us as His representatives. It makes them feel in the right, and it hurts us deeply, when the Lord's people have enjoyed decades of national respectability. We are tempted to fight to prove them wrong and get our dignity back. We could list their monstrosities of error and could scorn them as miserable liars. Or we can choose to lay down our lives for them as people worth the Redeemer's blood. For them, we can risk proclaiming the gospel narrative because it has a power to convert and redeem that surpasses every reasonable argument. The dividing line must come at the cross of Christ. Let them know that it is for Christ's sake that they hate us, and not our food choice, school choice, or political choices. Only proclaiming the gospel itself draws the line that gets us hated as Christ's people. Being hated merely as a white conservative is not worth it. Being hated for Christ's sake is worth it. But do they know where we stand?

Make no mistake at this juncture. Those who serve this world may be in the guise of the left or the right, though the right is more sympathetic at this point in history to the things Christians value. We must not confuse the temporary blessings of God's grace with our eternal calling as His people. We must not be willing to sacrifice our love for the lost (including people on the left who hate us) speaking words of hatred against them because we want our nation back the way it was. We want Christ's kingdom to come. We want people on the left and the right to worship Him. Our pursuit of justice should be done as a service to God who calls nations to do justice, and not motivated by idolatrous fear for our comfort. If justice is taken from us, it's not the end of our Christian life. It's the next step in our calling to follow Him who was rejected of men. When He returns, no one will reject Him, and it will be worth everything to know that we are His.

Musings on Home Education

 Why I Homeschool Our Children

A Brain Dump

I think that when people learn that I homeschool our children, they assume that they know why. Really, no one has ever asked me why I homeschool or questioned it in any way that I can remember. It's usually something like 'Do you homeschool?...Oh, that's wonderful. *Smiles at children*". It's nice to have a positive response from people, but I hear things from time to time that make me think that people assume they know why we homeschool, when they don't really. Honestly, I was asking myself today, "Do I even know why I homeschool?" Since I was happily homeschooled for most of my school years, leaving my early and trying days of first and second grade at a typically-flawed Christian school, far behind, it simply seemed natural to keep homeschooling. I wouldn't just set up lesson plans for my kids, I would pick up from where I left off on my own education and keep my nose in as many books as they did, and we would putter and hum our way through the crisp fall days with open-windows, the blanket-wrapped winter sick days that are mostly audiobooks, or winter snow days that are rushing to get one required subject done before hitting the sleds, and then float (or trudge as the case may be) into spring, interspersing scholarly endeavors with forays into the garden and lunch at the picnic table. I just wanted to live this life.

But of course, the real reason we are home educating our children, is that there are no schools in convenient distance that are inculcating the truths and virtues that we desire for our children - such as worship of the Creator, deep family relationships, and the high hilarities of language, Greek, Latin and English - among other things. That's a good justifying reason. 

But as I've now kept the home school ball rolling for 6 years, and the thought that our oldest may someday need more instruction than I can provide, I realized that my attachment to homeschooling was not merely one of principle. It is perhaps even more an attachment of fierce independence. Imagine - having another person, separate from our family, dictate my daily schedule - my child's teachers at some school having power over when we eat breakfast and what books we have to read and what time we have to go to bed at night. I inwardly recoiled at the thought, and pitied in my heart all the poor, slaving mothers who toil to keep their kids on the school's schedule. It made my blood hot to imagine myself losing my days of idyllic independence in order to be at the beck and call of another institution. I also reflected that this reaction is not exactly virtuous. But really, how can people say home schooling is hard, when they have to roll out of bed in the darkness to send their child to a school that probably has fluorescent lights in the classroom and no fresh flowers dropping dried petals and spider webs onto the spelling book? Not even mentioning the leftover bacon and fresh banana bread that may be acquired from the absurdly nearby kitchen during school hours, I believe that homeschooling can possibly be too idyllic to prepare children for the harsh realities of life in a fluorescent lit office cubicle. But I'm not afraid to defy that fear and give out spelling words from the kitchen, with my hands buried in sticky granola mixture, which will soon sustain the weary apprentice of cursive handwriting and spoil his appetite for lunch (oh dear, what are we having for lunch?). 

I do not disguise from myself that this idyll has its shortcomings. I do not imagine that home education can give a child all that they need, any more than a public education. These will each leave a child with gaps, of either community or family or knowledge, that they will long to fill. But we will pray about filling those gaps. Ultimately, whatever way we prayerfully choose to educate our children, the education is something that God has provided, and we give thanks for the blessings and trust God to provide what seems to lack. My feelings about homeschooling may come and go, and be better or worse from day to day, but the life that God has provided for us is a reality for which I can give thanks, even as time brings changes. 

October Windows

The dogwood holds

one hundred tinted windows

to the westering light

It's summer-humming rooms

swept empty

of their seethe of green 

are quiet as a church,

and sun enters alone

to set aglow its floors

with rosy tones

as for a holy day.

The eye may enter here

the round returning room

of nature's rest

of nature's secret joy,

of nature's's treasured waiting

for the grand day 

of festivity.

- AFB 10-15-24

Mid-July, West Virginia

In winter, we did dream
of this extravagant heat,
this golden gale of light
that whips each sun-bared limb,
and makes our wool-wrapped, boot-toed tramps
through frosty grass
a distant planetary dream.

There's the indulgent bee,
rolled deep in velvet pollen,
half drunk on sun thick nectar,
oblivious of memories,
buzzing above the silent furnace roar
of pavement baking patiently,
some yards away.

The mockingbird, alone,
careless of blazing noon,
runs, tail high, through the bleaching grass,
after a hapless bug,
then flaps white-flashing wings
to the unshaded top
of some well-favored tree, to sing.

He sings a memory
of the north-flown cardinal,
who habited our winter
with his spark of cheer -
"'What cheer! What cheer!' is here!"
The cardinal is gone.
The red slow-fading sun
has come to linger long.
Its warmth embraces stones,
and deep, damp roots of trees,
and radiates into the humming, dusky night.

- AFB, 7-16-2024 

 

The Country

Grandma used to send our family Country magazine back in the 90s when Reiman publication magazines were glossy and ad-free. Remember those?

I remember my law-abiding child self reading the cover by-line: "For those who live in or long for the country" and thinking this was a requirement for subscribers. "Mommy, we don't live in the country, but I guess we long for it, don't we?" If so, we could read the magazine with a clear conscience. 

We lived in a small brick house in a neighborhoodish part of town, where Main Street was in walking distance. Grandpa and Grandma lived in the country for real - the kind with pastures and cows. I lived for our annual visit to that gloryland of barn and garden. Not less charming was the laundry-hanging room near the attic stairs of the farmhouse. Old newspaper covered the wood floors under the clothespin dotted lines crossing the ceiling, and at the back was a tiny closet stacked feet high with more of those Reiman publication magazines. Grandma let me go to town in there with scissors, collecting pictures and recipes while I lost track of time. 

When I was ten, and our family moved to Guyana, South America, some of those pictures went with me in scrapbooks and folders. As we lived in humid tropical towns and villages, surrounded by spiked fences, memories of a place where grass grew on hills and mowers trimmed its green plushness right to the edge of roads with no barred gates or sewage ditches stayed with me like a dream. 

Life has been hard in the past few years, with illnesses and weariness. But sights like these irises by the shed remind me of those Country magazine pictures, and how God's love is shown to us in many ways. 

When I was a teenager, and we were living in a village by the Berbice River, I found one of those old photos, children laughing in flowers and green grass next to a country lane. I almost wept over it. Then I remembered words from Hebrews, "If they had been thinking of that country from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. As it is, they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one."

I'm back in the country. That's God's grace. But oh, all I want now is that better country. That will be glory.