Secret of a Good Marriage

There actually is a secret to the good married life. I just came across a reminder of it in this sentence:

"At the cross that relieves my conscience
let me learn lessons of self-denial, forgiveness, and submission." 

- from Arthur Bennet's The Valley of Vision, "A Neophyte's Devotion"

To the cross, to the cross!

(Practical note: Reading a Gospel writer's crucifixion account or some excellent cross theology from the Apostle Paul does rather more good than a few seconds' hazy imaginings of 'a hill far away')

"Not To Mention Any Names..."

Here are some very good thoughts from Hugh Binning's Christian Love (Banner of Truth, Puritan Paperbacks) on how we talk about others. I  read them while walking in the park yesterday, and being very struck by them, marked the page with some grass stems as a reminder to put them in my blog. The grass stems becoming rather troublesome I thought it best to post without further delay. Consider Mr. Binning's words:

"Great censurers are often the greatest hypocrites, and sincerity has always much charity.  Truly, there is much idle time spent this way in discourse of one another, and venting our judgments of others. As if it were enough of commendation for us to condemn others, and much piety to charge another with impiety...I would think one great help to amend this would be to abate from superfluity and multitude of discourses upon others. In the multitude of words there wants not sin, and in the multitude of discourse upon other men there cannot miss the sin of rash judging. I find the saints and fearers of God commended for speaking often one to another, but not at all for speak of one another. (Mal. 3:16)"

I have been guilty of this idle discourse about others, justifying it because, "I won't mention any names." It is good to avoid giving our neighbor a bad name when we must use their actions as an example. But how often is it that these anonymous recitation of other people's failures are used as a prideful showcase for our personal discernment? We feel good about ourselves because we can say , "A friend that I won't name did ______" and "I can't imagine how they can do that!" and pat ourselves on the back for being so good at life - much better than most people. But did we really need to bring it up at all?

Continuing with Mr. Binning:

If we would indeed grow in grace by the Word, and taste more how gracious the Lord is, we must lay these aside, and become as little children... Love covers all sins, conceals them from all to whom the knowledge of them does not belong (Prov. 10:12). Love, in a manner, suffers not itself to know what it knows, or at least to remember it much...it will pass by an infirmity, and refuse to recognize it, while many stand still and commune with it.

Isn't "commune with it" a very apt term? We sinfully spend time discussing other's failures until we feel the full effects of our superiority, leaving the anonymous sinner to their foolish ways and our silent condemnation. Love doesn't do that. Love will either be quiet and bear a bothersome fault, or speak up to correct a dangerous fault. As Mr. Binning points out -

This is nothing to the prejudice of that Christian duty of reproving and admonishing one another (Eph. 5:11): "Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.'...But to look too narrowly to every step, and to write up a register of men's mere frailties, especially so as to publish them to the world: that is inconsistent with the rule of love. ...He that has most defects himself will find most in others...but a wise man can pass by frailties, yea, offences done to him, and be silent (Prov. 11:12).  

All That is Good for Man

In the early 1800's, after a serious illness, the Rev. Richard Cecil (1748-1810) spoke of a clarified vision for his reading pursuits. His advice, while especially useful to those in ministry, is a noble reminder to me of how I ought to value my soul and my Savior more entirely in the books and media I choose.

"If God should restore me to health again, I am resolved to study nothing but my Bible. Literature is inimical to spirituality if it be not kept under with a firm hand. A man ought to call in from every quarter what may assist him to understand, explain and illustrate the Bible, but there - in its light and life - is all that is good for man.  All important truth is there; and I feel that no comfort enters sick curtains from any other quarter.  My state is an admonition to young men. I have been too much occupied in preparing to live and too little in living.  I have read too much from curiosity and for mental gratification.  I was literary when I should have been active.  We trifle too much. Let us do something for God. The man of god is a man of feeling and activity. I feel, and would urge with all possible strength on others that Jesus is our all in all. " 

From The Later Evangelical Fathers by Mary Seeley on books.google.com

"And shall be theirs"

I cut this poem out of a church bulletin and have had it taped on my wall for years. The paper is now old and curling, but the words are now in my memory. After taking down at last the well-loved little paper from my wall, I think the poem deserves a fresh imprinting here.

"Wouldst thou have that good, that blessed mind,

That is so much to heavenly things inclin'd

That it aloft will soar, and always be

Contemplating on blest eternity?

That blessed mind that counts itself then free

When it can at the throne of Jesus be.

There to behold the mansions he prepares

For such as be with him and his co-heirs.

This mind is in the covenant of grace,

And shall be theirs that truly seek his face."

- John Bunyan

Thoughts on a Humble Life

"Clothes came in with sin. We should have had no occasion for them, either for defence or decency, if sin had not made us naked, to our shame. Little reason therefore we have to be proud of our clothes." '

- Matthew Henry

" in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control..."

- 1 Timothy 2:9, ESV

"That calling or condition of life is best for us, and to be chosen by us, which is best for our souls, that which least exposes us to sin and gives us most opportunity of serving and enjoying God."

- Matthew Henry

"aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one."

- 1 Thessalonians 4:11, ESV

Only in union with Christ, God's beloved Son, can we be recipients of the love of God.

"From God, love flows out toward all the inhabitants of heaven. It flows out, in the first place, necessarily and infinitely, toward his only-begotten Son; being poured forth, without mixture, as to an object that is infinite, and so fully adequate to all the fullness of a love that is infinite."

- Jonathan Edwards

"You can readily speak of yourselves, and do often, either directly or obliquely, commend yourselves, which reveals your great self-love. How little do you commend your Lord and Master and extol His excellencies with your lips! And does not this evidence that you have but little love to Him in your hearts?"
- Thomas Vincent, The True Christian's Love

How is it that I am so eager to commend and speak of myself when my self has deceived me, cheated me, led me astray, stolen my peace, confused and betrayed me, corrupted my joys, tainted all my good deeds, distracted me and clouded my heart with anxious fears? (Surely it has proven itself worthy of all the devotion I give it!) When I consider how I esteem myself, I can attribute it to nothing but the most contemptible blindness and folly.

And Jesus Christ, of whom I speak so little, has given me every pleasant thing that I enjoy and every good and necessary provision; He has faithfully stayed with me as He promised to do always, despite the countless ways in which I try His patience with my unbelief, ingratitude and stubborn pride; He forgives all my sins because He has paid for them with His own blood; He softens my heart with his grace so that I repent of my sins, love my neighbor and brother, help those in need, rejoice in God, sing, pray and work unto Him - all of which I could not do in myself; He answers my prayers, restores my health and protects my life; He guides the path of my life into good ways when I would have no idea where to go, and does the same for all His own. Should I not think and speak of Him and for Him rather than myself? I often feel, wrongly, that to speak of Jesus is the task of the preacher and my friends would rather hear me speak of myself. But Jesus is mine, my own God, my Friend, Helper and Savior. He is my only honor, and without Him I would have nothing in which to glory, but only shame. He is my all and my very life, so that if someone did not wish to hear me speak of Him, I should consider them not to be my friend.

O that the Lord would set my crooked heart straight, that He would heal my heart's eyes of their distorted vision that I might see things as they are - Him as everything and myself as nothing, that He would restore my imbalanced affections so that all the weight of them may be set upon Him. And this He must do, for His name is Jesus and He saves His people from their sins.

Hope Kept Alive by Holiness and Deadened by Corruption

"Men are doubtless to blame for being in a dead, carnal frame; but when they are in such a frame, and have no sensible experience of the exercises of grace, but on the contrary, are much under the prevalence of lusts and an unchristian spirit, they are not to blame for doubting their state. It is as impossible, in the nature of things, that a holy and Christian hope be kept alive, in its clearness and strength, in such circumstances, as it is to keep the light in the room, when the candle is put out; or to maintain the bright sunshine in the air, when the sun is gone down. Distant experiences, when darkened by present prevailing lust and corruption, never keep alive a gracious confidence and assurance; but that sickens and decays upon it, as necessarily as a little child by repeated blows on the head with a hammer."

- Jonathan Edwards - Religious Affections, pt. 2, sect. 11

"Nothing is more powerful to engage our affections than to find that we are beloved. Expressions of kindness are always pleasing and acceptable unto us, though the person should be otherwise mean and contemptible: but, to have the love of one who is altogether lovely, to know that the glorious Majesty of heaven hath any regard unto us, how must it astonish and delight us, how must it overcome our spirits, and melt our hearts and put our whole soul into a flame!"

- Henry Scougal - from his book The Life of God in the Soul of Man