I Do Repent

Today I took down one of the old hymnals in my collection, just to poke about in it and see what was there - a worn, blue 1923 Hymns for the Living Age. I do not know where I got it or if I have even looked at it before. I opened to this beautiful hymn of penitence:

Because I knew not when my life was good,
And when there was a light upon my path,
But turned my soul perversely to the dark,
O Lord, I do repent.

Because I held upon my selfish road
And left my brother wounded by the way,
And called ambition duty, and pressed on,
O Lord, I do repent.

Because I spent the strength thou gavest me
In struggle which thou never didst ordain,
And have but dregs of life to offer thee,
O Lord, I do repent.

Because I was impatient, would not wait,
But thrust my impious hand across thy threads,
And marred the pattern drawn out for my life,
O Lord, I do repent.

Because thou hast borne with me all this while,
Hast smitten me with love until I weep,
Hast called me as a mother calls her child,
 O Lord, I do repent.

~ Sarah Williams, 1868

I think the center stanza - the third - will give me the most food for meditation, because in its confession I see myself all too well.

Because I spent the strength thou gavest me
In struggle which thou never didst ordain,
And have but dregs of life to offer thee, 
O Lord, I do repent.

The Greatness of God

I have been listening to an audio version of A. W. Tozer's Delighting in God, and when I heard this hymn of Frederick W. Faber's quoted as an illustration of appreciating God's immensity, I had to find and read it for myself. (Thank you, Hymnophile!) Here is a portion that I thought most lovely.

We share in what is infinite: tis ours,

  For we and it alike are Thine;

What I enjoy, great God! by right of Thee

  Is more than doubly mine.

Thus doth Thy hospitable greatness lie

  Outside us like a boundless sea;

We cannot lose ourselves where all is home,

  Nor drift away from Thee.

Out on that sea we are in harbour still,

  And scarce advert to winds and tides,

Like ships that ride at anchor, with the waves

  Flapping against their sides.

Thus doth Thy grandeur make us grand ourselves;

  ’Tis goodness bids us fear;

Thy greatness makes us brave as children are,

  When those they love are near.

Great God, our lowliness takes heart to play

  Beneath the shadow of Thy state;

The only comfort of our littleness

  Is that Thou art so great.

Then on Thy grandeur I will lay me down;

  Already life is heaven for me;

No cradled child more softly lies than I,

  Come soon, Eternity!

- Frederick W. Faber

A Methodist Hymnal

On this dreary fall afternoon, I took my new old Methodist Hymnal down from the shelf to have a first perusal at the keyboard. I hadn't really played from it since I bought it - and I bought it on the day we moved two months ago. What a crazy day that was. Pouring rain, drop-dead exhausted pregnant, toddler into everything. At one point there was a break in the weather, and I took Walter for a walk in the stroller to keep him out from underfoot, and maybe even catch a last cherished sighting of the train crossing Main Street.
The break in the weather didn't last long, and by the time we were around the block, we were caught in another sudden downpour. I ran with the stroller into the nearby Methodist church which was having a rummage sale. After finding a shirt for Walter three sizes too big but at least dry, and putting it on him to buy later, I browsed the tables.
I found so many funny and memorable things that day...like the watermelon magnets just like my grandmother used to have on her refrigerator, and the nifty peanut butter stirring lid that I'd always wanted, and the old lacey tablecloth that ended up being curtains for our bedroom in the new house. Then I discovered the treasure trove of ten cent books. Stuffing my hands and stroller with works of Lewis, Tolkien, Alcott and Wodehouse, I paused to peer further under the table in the dim corner and spied an old church hymnal. The Methodist Hymnal. I am not exactly a fan of modern United Methodism, but I had to have this hymnal, stamped with the Duncan Memorial church label. This was the church that played bell hymns over our block every noon and evening, speaking truth and cheer into my heart many times. On our last day in Berryville, I could not take the church chimes with me, but I could take the memory of them in this book - a reminder of the importance of encouraging the heart with song.
This evening I opened it and played "O Thou in Whose Presence My Soul Takes Delight", headphones plugged into the keyboard since Walter was napping and singing only in my heart since I have bronchitis. Why do I wait so long to do this? Music and truth together do so much good. Even if you don't have church bells to remind you, don't go too long without song - for the Lord is good and His mercy endures.

"Dear Shepherd, I hear and will follow Thy call;

I know the sweet sound of Thy voice.

Restore and defend me, for Thou art my All,

And in Thee I will ever rejoice."

 - Joseph Swain, 1791

A Dear Old Hymn

"I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." - Philippians 4:11, ESV

Looking through an oldMoravian hymnal awhile ago, I found this 
lovely  'spiritual song', which encourages the believer to look from
the world to Christ. Later, I composed a tune to it (which I am not
technologically proficient enough to post)  but the words 
are the most precious part.

"Look Up My Soul To Christ"

Look up, my soul, to Christ thy joy,
With a believing mind ;
With all the ills which thee annoy,
The way to Jesus find :
Here in this world thou hast no home,
Nor lasting joy; to Jesus come,
He is the pearl of greatest price,
Who all thy wants supplies.

Steadfast in faith to Jesus cleave,
His faithfulness review,
And every burden with him leave,
Whose love is daily new :
His ways with thee are just and right,
He puts thy enemies to flight:
However threatening they appear,
Take courage, he is near.

Lift up thy heart to him on high,
And leave this sordid earth;
Behold, with a believing eye,
God's excellence and worth :
Devote thy life, thy all, to him,
Who did thy soul from death redeem,
In love to thee the cross endured,
And life for thee procured.

Arise, and seek the things above;
Let heaven be all thy aim,
Where Jesus dwells in bliss and love,
And earth, and sin, disclaim:
The world, and all its empty joy,
His potent breath will once destroy;
Abiding rest, and peace of mind,

In Christ alone we find.

Y. C. Schade, 1666-98,

...A song that helps to pull along my wandering heart to where it ought to be

O Lord, I would delight in Thee
And on Thy care depend,
To Thee in every trouble flee,
My best, my only Friend.

When all created streams are dried,
Thy fullness is the same;
May I with this be satisfied
And glory in Thy Name.

No good in creatures can be found
But may be found in Thee;
I must have all things and abound
While God is God to me.

O Lord, I cast my care on Thee,
I triumph and adore;
Henceforth my great concern shall be
To love and please Thee more.

- John Ryland, 1777

"Who is This Fair One in Distress?"
- by Isaac Watts

Who is this fair one in distress,
That travels from the wilderness?
And pressed with sorrows and with sins,
On her belovèd Lord she leans.

This is the spouse of Christ our God,
Bought with the treasure of His blood;
And her request and her complaint
Is but the voice of every saint.

“O let my name engraven stand
Both on Thy heart and on Thy hand;
Seal me upon Thine arm, and wear
That pledge of love for ever there.

“Stronger than death Thy love is known,
Which floods of wrath could never drown;
And hell and earth in vain combine
To quench a fire so much divine.

“But I am jealous of my heart,
Lest it should once from Thee depart;
Then let Thy Name be well impressed,
As a fair signet on my breast.

“Till Thou hast brought me to Thy home,
Where fears and doubts can never come,
Thy countenance let me often see,
And often Thou shalt hear from me.

“Come, my Belovèd, haste away,
Cut short the hours of Thy delay;
Fly like a youthful hart or roe
Over the hills where spices grow.”

Let Me Hide Myself in Thee

Monday, November 13, 2006

Today we went on a trip to the beach. (By the way, don't picture some absolutely gorgeous tropical beach. Guyana beaches are mostly clayey brown sand and silty brown water, and garbage :-( But they do have some vestiges of beauty.) We had a quiet, relaxing time and traveled toward home in the glow of a brilliant mass of sunset clouds, silhouetting myriads of coconut trees. Driving on in the deepening dusk, we were all singing, "Rock of Ages" the last verse:

"While I draw this fleeting breath
When my eyes shall close in death
When I soar to worlds unknown
See thee on thy judgment throne"

- Augustus M. Toplady

There was something ahead of us. Daddy slowed to a stop as we saw a motorcycle laying on its side in the middle of the road and people gathered at the scene.

"Talk about 'soaring to world's unknown' I said, and pondered the helmet and stray motorcycle parts clustered by the road's edge.

As we passed by with a hymn and an accident stirring our hearts, we were sobered by the reality of life and death. "While I draw this fleeting breath," Daddy murmured. It's probable that the rider survived, but how quickly life can end if God wills to cut it short. How easily we forget that our life is brief, and our footsteps are ever treading the crumbling brink of eternity.

We never did finish the song; there were two more lines, and I thought about them as we traveled on.

"...When I soar to world's unknown
See Thee on Thy judgment throne
Rock of ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee."

Let me hide myself in Him! Jesus, the atoning sacrifice for my sins. Jesus, my righteousness in the sight of God. Jesus, the everlasting rock of my salvation.

"Nothing in my hand I bring
Simply to Thy cross I cling."

Jesus has borne my judgment, and in the day of judgment I shall be hid in Him. There is no wrath awaiting me at the edge of eternity, but only infinite love and infinite glory and entrance into the infinite joy of the Lord - because of Jesus. Thanks be to Him!

"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." - Revelation 1:5b-6 ESV

"How Sweet and Awesome is This Place" by Isaac Watts

This is an old hymn, but rather new to me. I found it in my "new" hymnal (I've had it for 11 months now) When I started playing it and reading the words, I loved it immediately. Here it is:

How sweet and awesome is this place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores!

While all our hearts and all our songs
Join to admire the feast,
Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,
“Lord, why was I a guest?

“Why was I made to hear Thy voice,
And enter while there’s room,
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?”

’Twas the same love that spread the feast
That sweetly drew us in;
Else we had still refused to taste,
And perished in our sin.

Pity the nations, O our God!
Constrain the earth to come;
Send Thy victorious Word abroad,
And bring the strangers home.

We long to see Thy churches full,
That all the chosen race
May with one voice, and heart and soul,
Sing Thy redeeming grace.

Get the tune at CyberHymnal

"I Sought the Lord"
a precious, beautiful hymn

I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew
He moved my soul to seek Him, seeking me.
It was not I that found, O Savior true;
No, I was found of Thee.

Thou didst reach forth Thy hand and mine enfold;
I walked and sank not on the storm vexed sea.
’Twas not so much that I on Thee took hold,
As Thou, dear Lord, on me.

I find, I walk, I love, but oh, the whole
Of love is but my answer, Lord, to Thee!
For Thou were long beforehand with my soul,
Always Thou lovest me.

- author unknown (circa 1880)

"We love because he first loved us" - 1 John 4:19 ESV

"Gospel Story"

a song I wrote

The God of heaven is all good.
Holy is His name.
His essence fire, light and love,
Sweet water, purest flame

I am His creature, made for Him,
But sinful, I rebel.
His glory I've shown not, but dimmed,
And justly deserve Hell.

Therefore, when God became a man,
Lived, loved without a flaw;
Then in agony died for my sin -
I can't but stand in awe.

What love is His; what grace He showed,
What perfect pow'r and plan.
To pay the debt His creatures owed,
God's Son became a man.

I'll stumble not; I shall believe,
With faith that He has giv'n.
This truth I'll trust; this Christ receive,
And hope with joy for heav'n.

- Alyssa Colby

This "hymn" can be sung to the tune "Kentucky Harmony" found in some hymnbooks.

A Little Picture of Perseverance

A Little Picture of Perseverance

May 30, 2006

On Sunday I was with Mother in the car - now I have to explain to any readers our unique situation. We have a little church that meets in a decrepit building on the corner of the main road. (It's decrepit partly because we don't own it, and every service we have no assurance that it won't be our last one in the building - so we don't spend much money on upkeep. We are trying and praying toward buying the building but the owner is a rather moody Hindu man who wants more money out of us than we can give. Thankfully, neither he nor his demands are greater than our God.) Anyway, after service mother was taking a lady home in our car while everyone else waited at the church - except for me. I decided to go along. It was raining, and after dropping off the lady, we were going along the muddy road back toward the church building when we saw a sight. Both Mother and I wished we had the camera, but a word picture must suffice:
A young boy of about seven years was coming down the road. He was barefoot and wearing only underpants (which is very normal in Guyana - and probably better for walking in the rain!) He had probably just ridden the family bike to the local shop to buy ice and was now returning. The bike was a full-size adult bike and he was pushing it with both hands. His head was slightly down, gripping the top of the bag of ice between his front teeth, while rain streamed down his face. His face was a picture of grit and determination as he slowly pushed the bike toward home. What a picture! I hope his mother thanked him when he got home.
Sometimes life is like that.
What kept that boy going? The command of his parent and the end of his trip - home! (and maybe a soft drink with ice when he got there.) Something better awaits believers in Christ - God. Our dwelling place, our eternal home and our fountain of delight forever. He will fill us with joy in His presence, with eternal pleasure at His right hand.
And if we have to tramp barefoot through mud in life, our hands so full, we wish we had three... we can keep on going, one step at a time. Jesus will keep us persevering in grace and our God will bring us safely home. I know that no analogy is a perfect one - our lives aren't always tramping through mud. There is earthly joy many times in our way. But when we have to drudge, the joy of the Lord is our strength and the end of the journey is our hope.

"...strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God." - Acts 14:22 ESV